Lost

Imagine.

This is the experience that you've always wanted. You are in the land of wine and cheese. Where all of the beautiful people leisurely smoke their cigarettes and sip on tiny coffees at small tables in a cafe. Yes, this is your moment. You have always believed that you were born in the wrong country, and here is your chance to redeem yourself. But...you do not speak French. Nevertheless you must find your way to school for your first day of classes.
You begin your journey on a beautiful stone paved road. You open your map in front of you at the expense of looking like a tourist and find that your map is (of course) in French. You look up and scan your surroundings...where are the signs? Oh, right there! But, that is in French too. Damnit. Why didn't you take French more seriously? How did you think you were going to live here for an entire year without knowing anything?!
Breathe. It's okay. Everything is going to be okay. Just keep walking. The Université d'Aix-Marseille shouldn't be that hard to find. Right? Right? I'm sure it's here somewhere... Oh, but now it's raining. Breathe. No biggie. You just need to focus on finding the road and getting to school, so you march on. And then it continues to rain. And pour. And-is that lightning? Why did you forget your umbrella? And what is the word for umbrella anyway?
You look down. Your map is starting to dissolve into a colorful mess. Don't cry. It's fine... Okay you can cry a little. But make it look like the rain is in your eyes. You don't have an umbrella after all. Just don't panic. Your heart is beating a little faster as you look down at your watch. It's ten minutes to nine. You can't be late for your first class. How are you going to get there?
Oh, there are two old men over there. Maybe they'd be willing to help a lost American. You approach nervously. Crap! How do you ask for directions?
"Um. Exusez-moi. Uh, Où est rue d'Italie?"
The two men look at each other. Hopefully they understood through your terrible accent. They begin to argue. Shit. You don't have time for this. They look at you expectantly, and then they each point in the opposite direction. Great. Five minutes to nine. Your best bet may just be to go back home. At least you know where that is. One of the men snap to get your attention and points to a sign.
"C'est ici!"
You look up and find a bright yellow sign pointing you down the street and you follow it with your eyes to see that the University is down the street. Yes! Yes! Yes! You begin to run toward it. At this point, you decide that it's okay to look like a crazy American, because you my friend, are not going to be late for class.